maandag 10 oktober 2011

Online dating tips from a professional online dater

I think the whole online gratis datingsites thing is a very tricky arena indeed. If you use a dating site you're a loser who can't score with women. That's the sales pitch. That's the stereotype, the default. And for the most part it's actually true. So you've got to say from the start "Hold the phone, that's all those guys, but not me".

Here's what I put as my description of me:

* My life is the most fun I've ever had :p Want to know why? This isn't the place to find out... Hit the Email Me button instead :p

So I haven't given any details, I've just said email me. I'm kind of mysterious like rencontre gratuit style, and I'm not trying too hard... I'm certainly not about to beg and plead and say how I drive a fast car or I'm loyal as a puppy or something. Here's what I put in the what you're looking for box:

* Alright so I've got my pad, got my career, I've got mates & we have a laugh... So you have five minutes to tell me where you fit in the picture.... Go!

I've kind of buckled with that one, but only a bit. I rush past the fact I have a place (not at my parents), and have some kind of job, but the focus of that line is demanding the girl justify herself. By putting her on the spot, she's right the opposite of where she expects to be. The sentence reads " Actually I don't need to be here, and frankly I don't need to bother with you. Why are you worth my time? ". That's what she does with you, she thinks why are you worth her time, but this time I got there first. That's a crucial first step, break the mould from the start.

So I see this girl and I want to mail her, what do I do. Again a lot of guys say "Hey you're so hot, I really like you... You think we could chat online please please please..." .

I try to visualise when I send her a mail, that I have five seconds to say something to her, cause I'm so busy with my life, and it'll never be about how much I lurve her etc. I might write something like this:

* Hey are you good at advice? I need a woman's opinion

Or

* Has anyone ever done the cube on you? I'll do it on you, it'll tell you loads of deep stuff bout yourself :p

I just want to initially send her this burst of contact that is short, snappy, and leaves her wondering what's coming next. And has nothing to do with compliments or liking her. If she's hot she probably gets 100 messages a day liking her and stuff.

When I get chatting to her, I totally play it like it was a set. Ignore her looks, if you have to tell her she looks nice you should never go above one compliment for the entire conversation. Run routines instead and steer her towards giving up something, like her MSN or her mobile or even a date. Steer her towards that as soon as you've built a basic rapport. The point of a chat is to show her you're fascinating, and get a hook for something deeper next time.

That's by no means perfect but that's how I run it and it keeps me above average.

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